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August 07 - issue 1

Dearly Bewildered

The more things change the more they remain the same. Whenever the curate and I return from our annual holiday in Whitstable or Tenby, it's impossible to open the front door for the press of correspondence on the doormat. Thus, in a spirit of clearing the decks, we present a sampling of the best of your missives to the massive, beginning with this fascinating musing on the meaning of Side Two and the other uses to which an album sleeve may have been put.

THE CORRECT USE OF VINYL

Parishioner David Innes:

With the revived interest in vinyl, driven to some extent by Brother Hepworth's recent articles in the parish's sister tract, The Word, rock n roll's equivalent of the splendid War Cry, I was given to musing on the subject. Caused by perusing the last great Strawb's album 'Grave New World' on mp3, I came to realise, that whilst I can sing lustily along, in my wobbly baritone, to Benedictus, Queen Of Dreams, Heavy Disguise and New World, nearly every song thereafter is fairly unfamiliar. I can only assume that this is because the 1971 original LP was rarely turned over when listening to it in Brother Maira's bedroom.

In similar vein, my children, Beatles fans due to this being a strict condition of residence, look at me with puzzlement when I make the case for side 2 of Abbey Road being the finest song cycle in the canon (no offence, Your Worship). So, Whipping Post is not track 7 or 8, depending on which digital version of Fillmore East you own, it is side 4. The final chord of Rory Gallagher's Pistol Slapper Blues signals time to reach for the tone arm, wipe the platter on the sleeve of the checked Ben Sherman and turn over to side 2 of Live In Europe to the mandolin-frenzy that is Going To My Home Town.

And where do today's adolescent males conceal their, ahem, jazz magazines (a term which may make one think again about what Kind Of Blue is about). Polydor's double sampler Bombers was my preferred filing system when I was in my Pictures Of Lily period, its cavernous gatefold sleeve spacious enough to conceal a dog-eared Mayfair and a year-old copy of Parade. I suppose they're all 'downloading' images from the interne these days.

The Vicar says: I have many precious possessions (photographs, educational certficates, even letters from young ladies) filed away in the capacious sleeves of ancient live albums in the belief that they provided "somewhere safe". Have any parishioners gone back to a much loved old favourite only to find some long forgotten memento fluttering from its bosom?

ABSENT FRIENDS

Parishioner Mikey:

The credits for Miss America, a drumless track on Blur's Modern life is rubbish album, after the usual Damon: Vocals, Graham: Guitar, Alex: Bass, credit Dave Rowntree with The Plough, Bloomsbury. This set me wondering if the parish could think of any other creative use of credits where musicians had clearly not played on their records. I'm hoping the parish can come up with something a bit more subtle than Andrew Ridgeley: Guitar or Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus: Vocals.

RACEHORSES IN ROCK

Parishioner Alessandra Pinasco in Lima, Peru:

Of course, Steel Pulse were named after a racehorse...

Parishioner David Mills:

As regards racehorses in rock, Parishioner Milligan would like to draw the betting fraternity's attention to Dapple Rose, from the Slade album Play It Loud. Having said that, I work for the BBC, so you've only got my word for it....

Our man on the rail Tom Swan:

The Pioneers didn't seem to have much luck at the bookies, what with follow up Poor Rameses apparently not doing too well either. There is also an lp dedicated to Mill Reef with, amongst the many musical highlights, a picture of a very young Clare Balding on the back. Also Shergar by Betty Davies & The Balconettes & Red Rum's song by Christopher, Robin Ted & Alice.

Parishioner Stuart Booth:

None better than Ghost Train in the long intro by Chip Taylor to his song "101 in Cashbox" form the much forgotten and underrated LAST CHANCE album Of course, there is also "racehorse Haines" by Tom Russell, though that is a mere sobriquet for a shyster lawyer. Folkier.....'The Galway Farmer'. A tour de force of a number from Show of Hands, of course Not quite a disguised name, but I did hear that backing singer Helen Terry (of Boy George singles fame) did have an R'n'B band named after various appropriate luminaries; it was Ike & Turner Korner.

Parishioner Ant B:

Just about to reach for the Horlicks, but catching up on a few day's back emails brings me forth again. I have to trumpet The Pogues most excellent "Bottle Of Smoke" from "If I Should Fall From Grace With God" as the best horseracing song bar none, m'fraid - trust McGowan to do justice to the sport of kings - "Twenty fucking five to one, my gambling days are done, I bet on a horse called the Bottle Of Smoke, and my horse won." Ah, and indeed, men.

Parishioner Skirky:

I fel sure you are already aware of the comprehensive description offered on 'Henry The Human Fly' by one R.Thompson of this parish of his racehorse which was sadly "taken away" by "the angels". Delaney's Donkey, I imagine, doesn't count.

(Speaking of parishioners, I am currently holidaying on the idyllic isle of Mallorca courtesy of some rather more well-to-do-than-myself in-laws (and no-one appreciates the irony of preparing a nice tomato and pesto salad in a converted farmhouse to the haunting strains of The Clash's Career Opportunities on the iPod, I can tell you) and the bathroom reading is an array of 'Hello'-style glossies featuring the great, glamourous and good of the island. Imagine my delight, therefore, upon finding a six page in-depth interview, photoshoot and career overview of one Danny Baker. I'd not heard the Elton John story before. Good work, your Bakerness.)

 

Parishioner Steve Tallamy:

If memory serves, America went to the desert with a horse. But I cant remember its name.....

THIS PIANO HAS BEEN DRINKING (NOT ME)

Parishioner Mark Ellen:

I enjoyed Simon Moffat's comments about The Hold Steady in the last newsletter and, having seen them the other week, I think his allegation that they're mostly about 'getting high' seems fairly well-grounded. I didn't know much about them to be honest but our neighbour Amanda and her two teenage sons suggested a raid on the Shepherd's Bush Empire. The Hold Steady look like American frat boys in check shirts and trainers and the odd lyric I picked up suggested that girls could be indifferent to their charms.. But no matter, there was always a keg of Bud around to help drown their sorrows! The upbeat nature of their canon implied this wasn't actually a massive disappointment: the keg of Bud was apparently more fun than most of these girls anyway. To illustrate their enthusiasm for getting a bit giddy, The Hold Steady brandished their bottles at the end of every song. I'm pretty good at

identifying booze - even from Row 6 of Level 1 - and I'm here to tell you that the drummer and lead singer were drinking Budweiser, the bass and lead guitarist had single malt with lager chasers, and the keyboard player was sucking down a bottle of claret. I freely admit on the rare occasions when I'M jumping up and down, pouring sweat and prodding an electric organ, I find nothing quenches the thirst quite like a 13 per cent proof slug of warm Cabernet Sauvignon. At one point the bassist, worried he might not survive the next 24 bars without restoring his tissues, tipped his colleague the wink, and the kindly keyboard player placed the claret bottle in his mouth and administered a draught mid-song. The Hold Steady's consumption of booze was astonishing. They had something I've honestly never seen before - apart from on Dave Allen's TV show in the Seventies - a booze roadie. When they

send panicked signals to the wings it doesn't mean there's a malfunctioning foot-pedal. God no. A shaggy-looking bloke in a t-shirt comes sprinting on with two more cold ones and a fresh pint of Scotch. "Do you think they recyle?" Amanda wondered, and I thought she had a point. The sheer SIZE of their mountain of glass was almost unimaginable. There was probably some massive truck backing up to the "get out" to collect the drum riser and wall of guitar amps but it would be DWARFED by the vehicle they'd need to clear out all the empties. "You know that awful feeling you get when you put the tins out for the recycling lorry and you think everyone's thinking 'blimey those people at Number Eleven don't half tip it back?'" - this is our neighbour again - "well imagine how great it would be if you lived next door to The Hold Steady. You could drink yourself daft seven days a week and they'd

trump you every time!" It was like a cartoon strip - (MEANWHILE AT THE HOLD STEADY'S HOUSE...) Hey guys, you awake? It's the crack o' noon! Anyone for a rum 'n' Red Bull? (LATER THAT DAY...) Dude! We're like todally out of Talisker! When they left the stage after the big finish, towels round necks, thanks for coming out etc, two of them nipped back on to retrieve their bottles - and fair play to them: it's a long old walk to the dressing-room. I saw the impressively thirsty Rod Stewart and The Faces in 1971 but this lot could match them pint for pint. It was good work from The Hold Steady and no mistake.

MUSIC FOR THE DRUNK

Parishioner Mark Bryer:

The GLW is of the opinion that if I put the Scott Walker sings Jacques Brel CD in the machine (even before I've racked up the volume) that either, 1. I've had too much to drink, or 2. That I intend to have too much to drink.

Any other things that give fellow parishioners away?

ONE RIFF FITS ALL

Parishioner Judith:

Whilst singing along loudly to Saint Bob's "Like A Rolling Stone" the other day I found myself segueing into "Louie Louie" which accompanied, nay fitted alongside, perfectly when sung slowly and with meaning. My husband then burst into "Twist and Shout" in similar vein and the three made a wonderful what I believe is called "Mash" in the modern hymnal. Have any other parishioners discovered similar wonderful mixtures from the seminal age of rock?

PUBLIC INFORMATION MESSAGE

Parishioner Bert Fry, the Vicarage Handyman:

As the current version of the website is now one year old - could I draw the parish's attention to the celebratory 'Best of The Vicar' compilation now live on the website?

SHE ONLY WANTED ME FOR MY FLUFF

Parishioner Mike

In 1974 (may of been 75), I use to spend many a Saturday Afternoon listening to Radio One and Alan â?~not arfâ?T Freeman. I don't know if any other parishioners recall the show, seemed quite good to a sixteen year old at the time, anyway he had a competition where he played a track which if you knew who it was, you would need to write in with the name of the artist and the title of the song. I seem to recall he played the whole track so it was pretty easy, it was just making the effort to write in. One of my favourite albums at that time was Twelve Dreams of Dr Sardonicus by Spirit, still quite fond of it now when I come to think of it. As soon as I heard Mr Skin hit the airwaves I felt the urge to write in. The following week the mighty Al read my name out and I duly received a £2-50 record voucher which was much appreciated at the time. I invested this in the Man album 'Be Good To Yourself' which was probably their worst album by a mile, no listening before buying the more obscure albums in those days... The other thing I received was a signed photograph of the man himself with some type of message on. This resided on my bedroom wall for a few months along with all my other posters, until my girlfriend who I was seeing at the time asked if she could have this memento to show a few friends. The truth was I was starting to get a bit scarred waking up each morning and seeing that scary grin (Alâ?Ts â?" not the girlfriends unfortunately as my mum wouldn't let girlies stay over) so was only to glad to pass it on. Anyway a few weeks later said girlfriend finished with me and I have often wondered if she only went out with me to get close to Al and stardom. Two things- one- did any other parishioners win on Big Als show and if so do they still have their signed

picture and they can tell me what he used to write on it - and two - did their girlfriends finish with them also shortly after? This new found freedom did enable me to get off with one of her mates who I had fancied for ages so everything turned out great. I have never won another competition or even a tenner on the lottery since...

SONGS RUINED BY CALL CENTRES

Parishioner Emerald Carter: "How about Songs That Have Been Ruined By Call Centres? If you ring Talk Talk, the broadband provider, you get Something In The Air by Thunderclap Newman - over and over again. I used to love this record but now I want to lamp someone every time I hear it. Any other great tunes wrecked by Johnny Commerce?"

NOMS DE ROCK

Parishioner Carl Parker:

Listed among the musicians on the back of Roy Harper's Bullinamingvase album is one Skaila Kanga. I thought for many, many years that this was some jokey name hinting at carnal relations with a marsupial. From time to time over the years, when there have been discussions along similar lines that led you to this thread, I've asked if anyone knew who SK really was. No-one ever did. So imagine my surprise when, a couple of years ago, I found out that far from being a pseudonym Skaila Kanga is not just a musician but a Professor of Harp at the Royal Academy of Music:

UNFORGETTABLE

Max Roach

Tony Wilson

Bill Deedes

Lee Hazelwood

Ivor Emmanuel

Get in touch - mail@rockingvicar.com

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