:: archive

December 06 - issue 1

Dearly Befuddled. What larks indeed as Yuletide approaches. Life at the Virtual Vicarage has been so insanely hectic that shamefully little has been achieved recently re the sorting of the parish mail. But encouraged by four fingers of firewater and the repeated playing of It's A Big Country by Davitt Sigerson (officially the third best Christmas Record ever made), I found myself drifting contentedly towards the task in hand. But first! - if all members of the Vicar's flock put their shoulders to the wheel we should be able to complete the parish Advent Calendar. Contributions to date - for which many thanks - still leave the odd hole (see below). Any suggestions as to how to fill it eagerly awaited (need to be a song titles rather than '23 Skidoo', Mrs Vic insists). Who knows, if the Good Lord is willing, the creek don't rise and the digital world evolves at a pace where even your

tech-resistant Rev can keep up, then next year we'll have a bells 'n' whistles feature on the website that plays all 25 in sequence. Though surely we don't want to be emptying our stockings to a song by Veruca Salt? Can any parishioners find the missing pieces, or improve on the ones we've got?

ADVENT CALENDAR PARISH APPEAL!

1 One by U2

2 Song 2 by Blur

3 Three Steps To Heaven by Eddie Cochran

4 ??

5 Five Years by David Bowie

6 ??

7 The Magnificent Seven by Madness

8 ??

9 9 To 5 by Dolly Parton

10 Ten Storey Love Song by The Stone Roeses

11 ??

12 Twelve Songs Randy Newman

13 Thirteen by Big Star

14 ??

15 15 Years by The Levellers

16 Only 16 by Craig Douglas

17 17 by The Regents

18 I'm 18 by Alice Cooper

19 19 by Paul Hardcastle

20 20 Flight Rock by Eddie Cochran

21 Twenty-One by The Cranberries

22 This Time (We'll Get It Right) by the England World Cup Squad ("we're on our way, we're Ron's 22)

23 ??

24 Hours from Tulsa by Dusty Springfield

25 25 by Veruca Salt

CELEBRITY CRACKERS

Parishioner Mark Service: Christmas is the time to raise a cup of good cheer with relatives and the success, or otherwise, of the celebrations depends on who your relatives are. Whilst playing on the interweb recently I discovered that Cold Feet actress Fay Ripley's aunty is Twinkle of 'Terry' fame. I wonder if

parishioners know of other unusual combinations of artists connected by blood ties who might be on opposing ends of a cracker this year?

The Vicar writes: Parishioner Nick Leslie is married to a girl who's sister's brother-in-law is the drummer of Colosseum. Be honest, that takes some beating. Every Christmas, fellow percussionist Leslie and the great Jon Hiseman suck down a few scoops of Stone's Ginger Wine in a quiet corner and discuss the finer details of the timpani on Valentyne Suite. Bliss.

GEORGE FORMBY'S 'UKE PROWESS' DISPUTED

Parishioner John Hepworth: Merry Gentlevic. Back in the cassette era of archaeology, and before the term sampling was known to me, I extracted all the ukulele solos from a Best-of-George sort of product, and had them as a continuous instrumental, to some lasting satisfaction. A goggle-eared listener then told me that GF couldn't actually tune his little stick of jangling rock, or even select the right one unaided, so an experienced Uke Tech stood by. From a dense copse of the dwarf instruments the expert slapped each item into George's hand at the vital moment in the way once fashionable among TV surgeons' assistants. Can it be so? Disillusion us if you must at this season of goodwill. Yours Adventwise, twixt holly and mistletoe.

CASTS OF THOUSANDS

Becky Quinn of the Liverpool parish: Re the largest group of people onstage, I seem to remember at least 17 on stage during Brian Wilson's Smile Tour. Also Polyphonic Spree, who have a shifting membership has at its largest count had 27 members.

GOOD BEARD, BAD BEARD

Parishioner Mark Bryer: Seeing a recent snap of Robert Plant, it struck me that he's never succesfully carried off the facial hair thing. Whereas, off the top of the head, Eric Clapton, Pete Townsend and Joe Cocker look immeasurably better for sporting a little overgrown stubble, although it is more of a metrosexual dusting rather than the full backwoodsman-survivalist look, they all look a little odd without it.

SWEARY WORDS IN RECORDINGS

Parishioner David Haslam: Surely Al Stewart's Magnum Opus Love Chronicles was the first to use the four-worded naughtiness in a lyric?

Parishioner Lindsay Marshall: I think the earliest recorded use of the F-word is on an unreleased (obviously!) take by Lucille Bogan singing as Bessie Jackson performing Shave 'em Dry. A genuinely great performance too - presumably just as she would have performed it live. The best place to hear it is on the Document CD of her complete works. I'm not going to say which volume as you ought to buy them all. In terms of modern day pop music, The Fugs werer certainly early perpetrators but I am sure not even remotely the first

THE BEST SONG I'VE NEVER HEARD

Brother Danny Baker: The title My Mother The War [by 10,000 Maniacs] is not quite the random original image it seems. It is in fact tribute/nick from a short lived US Sitcom (1968) called My Mother The Car which had the boondoggling premise wherein a man buys a second-hand car only to find it is the reincarnation of his own mother. She talks/nags/ruins dates through the car radio. No, really. The big brassy theme song was performed by none other than Sammy Davis Junior ("My mother the car/She's my very own guiding star/A 1928 Porter/That's my mother dear/She helps me through/Everything I do/And I guess I'm glad she's here..."

As ever, the Vicar's newsletter relies on your contributions. On that, that and whatever takes your fancy. Keep it all coming to mail@rockingvicar.com.

Gary Chrimble and a Gear New Year!

Your Rocking Vicar xx

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