:: archive

January 07 - issue 2

FAVOURITE SONS

Parishioner Andrew Collins: T'Pau are routinely referred to as "Shrewsbury's finest", in the same way that we may confidently call R.E.M., "Athens' finest" and the Dandy Warhols "Portland, Oregon's finest". Any other suggestions for towns, or cities, with one standout band, whose claim to rock'n'roll ownership is undisputed? I'll give you Northampton's finest: Bauhaus, since it is where I was born, and don't give me Imagination, as only their bassist comes from the town.

'WILL THIS DO?' LYRICS

Parishioner Simon directs our attention to Camper Van Beethoven's "Take The Skinheads Bowling":

"Some people say that bowling alleys got big lanes

Some people say that bowling alleys all look the same

There's not a line that goes here that rhymes with anything"

Parishioner Stephen pitches in with The Turtles' "Elenore"

"Eleanor, gee I think you're swell" (OK so far)

"And you really do me well" (Fair enough, need a rhyme for "swell")

"You're my pride and joy" (still OK)

"Etcetera" (WHAAAT????)

Parishioner Ric:

My favourite is by the otherwise verbose Eminem, when at the end of the last verse of "Just Lose It" he goes "Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba I don't have any lines to go right here so chubba chubba". I mean, what?

Parishioner Steve:

I remember John Peel, when asked on Quote Unquote on Radio 4 for examples of bathos, coming up with two examples in lyrics, one apparently ironic, one not. They were, from the Turtles' Elenore "You're my pride and joy, et cetera", and, from Elton John and Bernie Taupin's Your Song (again) "If I was a sculptor, but then again no".

Parishioner Punk Floyd puts The Boomtown Rats' "Rat Trap" in the dock:

"I'm gonna get out of school, work in some factory

Work all the hours God gave me, get myself a little easy money"

Now, now, now, na na na na na na na na na na na na na"

Parishioner Lucy:

At the risk of reinforcing the idea of male / female taste in music can I nominate Mr Robbie Williams for 'In the morning when I wake up / I look like Kiss but without the make up / and that's a good line to take it to the bridge.' I beg to differ, sir.

THE ARTIST IS INDISPOSED

Parishioner Graham Johns

So, Amy Winehouse isn't just a vaguely skanky music-journo fantasy item,

she's a lightweight too. Going off to be sick after one number? In the

mid-70's, Joe Cocker was so certain that he was going to blow chunks

mid-gig that he had a bucket expressly for that purpose onstage with him.

Parishioner Sarah:

One of my more misguided friends got me a ticket to see Macy Gray at the Brixton Academy in 2002. She stomped off the stage about halfway through a one hour set, leaving the band to do a fifteen minute long funk by numbers workout/singalong with the audience while she did...whatever...I dunno, rested her voice? Then she came back, croaked through two utterly forgettable tunes, and said goodnight. That's it. No encore. If that had been my 25 quid plus booking fee, I'd have asked for half of it back.

Parishioner Jaffo:

I saw the Television Personalities at Central School of Art in the early eighties. They did two numbers before the singer put down his guitar and announced that he was going home because he had a 'guts-ache'.

THE BEST BEARDS IN ROCK

Rev Leo Fist Whistle:

In response to Mark Bryer it has to said that the drummer with Steeleye (not sure of his name and I cant be arsed to scour Google) must be in line for a OBE (Odd Beard Entry). When last I saw him it was down to his knees and that was plaited! Pales all the bum fluff coated chins of prepubescent rockers of the present and ages past into insignificance to my mind.

The Vicar writes: Please send us your favourite JPEGs of rock stars' face fungus and we'll put a little gallery up in the vestibule.

'AND THIS IS ME'

Parishioner Val:

Watching the BBC 1 documentary about the unlikely 70s pin-ups on Sunday evening, I was struck by the fact that Gilbert O'Sullivan actually refers to his real name in the middle 8 of "Clair": "Nothing means more to me than hearing you say: / 'I'm going to marry you, will you marry me Uncle Ray?' ". Can the parishioners think of any other instances where artistes with stage names make reference to their real selves? George Harrison refers to Ringo as "Richie" in the song "Living In The Material World" and of course Elton John called his 1988 album "Reg Strikes Back", but there must be better examples.....

SONGS NOT YET IN ADS

Parishioner Magnus:

In response to the item in the January newsletter - Mr.Osterberg did indeed flog 'I Wanna Be Your Dog'. It was to those purveyors of fizzy, amber slosh: Carlesberg, about five years ago. Must have been a memorable campaign!

PARISH APPEAL

Parishioner Dom:

I've never heard of this 'my girlfriend's like a record shop' thing, although I was in nearby Wooky Hole that summer. However, has anyone else any recollection of a song called, I think, Stupid Guy, by, I think, Paranoid (?), with a chorus that went 'Just another stupid guy before I met you'.

The season? Winter. The year? 1979-1980 (I think). The place? Capital Radio's Top Ten at 5 with, I think, Roger Scott.

Pip, Pip

Your Rocking Vicar

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