:: archive

June 07 - issue 4

Dearly Bewildered,

Something is bothering the Verger. Increasingly these days he finds himself in receipt of press releases written by people who are clearly too young to know what they are talking about. This one, for instance, concerns a Beatles DVD of some kind. Can the parish spot the factual errors?

"During the grim 1950's when Britain was still recovering from post war blues - four cheeky, young lads from Liverpool, with an eye for the big time, took to busking and with a steely determination were convinced they had the talent to make records. In just a couple of years from producing their first demo record in 1963 they became the most famous musical men on the planet. On 20th August 2007 the story of that journey from anonymity to superstardom will debut on DVD, as Liberation Entertainment release The Beatles - From Liverpool To San Francisco 1963 - 1968."

And can anyone come up with other examples of press releases written by people with a less than certain grip on history?

POST OF THE WEEK

Parishioner Steve D:

In the mid-1990s, shortly after the Manic Street Preachers had brought out their grim The Holy Bible album, I found myself sharing a flat for a few months in Gateshead with a drug-crazed, manically depressed bloke. He spent his days drinking white cider and doing any drug he could get his hands on, while listening to The Holy Bible about eight times a day. His unhealthy idolatory of Richey Manic culminated in him one day deciding to carve the word 'despair' into his arm, in the style of the notorious skin slashing guitarist. However, when he came into the room to shock me and a friend of his with what he had done, a misspelling and too big a space between letters caused his friend to ask him: "Who's Des Pear?"

VEXATIOUS MISPRONUNCIATION

Tim Martin:

I had a music teacher whose limitless loathing of beat groups led to him constantly referring to the two worst examples, in his view, as the Small Things and the Pretty Faces. On the other hand though, a friend's deeply conservative mother, while no great lover of popular music, was an admirer of Motorhead's Lemmy because "He looks as though he's got a bit of go in him." To this day no-one's had the courage to tell her where the bit of go probably came from.

Parishioner Fatnose

Sometime in the eighties, my Dad is well remembered (in our house) as having referred to a certain Richard Darbyshire and cohorts as Lost in a Box, this they have of course remained. I myself find it impossible to refer to Lance Armstrong's ex as anything other than Beryl Crow, and cannot prevent myself from spoonerising mid morning DJ Wo Jhiley.

Parishioner Mike:

I read with interest that Parishioner Mark Bryer's parents also used the 'NED' Zepp monica, and that Parishioner Mike Mortimer's parents broadened the field by the labeling modern music in it's entirety as 'that crap'. My parents were obviously of less straightforward stuff preferring the term 'thumpty, thump, thump music', although in a tribute either to Bishop Viv or Cardinal Partridge my brother and I have started using the epithet... 'damn drums and banjoes'

Parishioner Peter Byrchmore

In our house, where Popular music was barely tolerated at the best of times, former Opportunity Knocks winners cum Brit Carpenters wannabes Peters and Lee became Litres Of Pee, the 1976 eurovision winners were known as Motherhood Of Bran and as for 'Sugar Candy Kisses' brother n sister team Matt and Katie Kissoon....step forward Cack and Matey Bassoon..

Parishioner Oysterfrond:

I'll wager it's old news in the vestry, but back in the day, my dear old mum (bless her) used to enjoy the pop hits of a solo singer named Freda Greaves, blissfully untroubled by the fact that 'she' was in fact 'three', the pop combo 3 Degrees. I wonder if our future king realises that there were three of them all along or is he also a big Freda Greaves fan? 'Go figure' as I believe our younger parishioners have been heard recently to say.

Parishioner Gideon Coe:

Once we're done with parental reactions to pop stars perhaps we could turn our attention to our fathers' fathers or, in this, case my mother's father. Frank was a lovely man and was also a keen watcher of Top of the Pops in the days when it hadn't been axed/moved to Fridays/spoiled by terrible new music. He must have witnessed some classic performances... Bowie with Ronson, Bolan, Thin Lizzy, Car 67 by Driver 67 but the one which got the biggest and most pronounced reaction was when a young singer songwriter performed her stunning debut single one Thursday evening after Tomorrow's World. For the rest of 1978 and indeed into the 80's and his passing he would regularly break a silence by suddenly singing "HEATH-CLIFF!" at the top of his voice and waving his arms around. It was the only Kate Bush lyric he learned but he learned it well.

PARISH APPEAL

We all know that Jeff "Skunk" Baxter out of Steely Dan became a missile expert but which other rock names went on to do something interesting "post-rock"?

mail@rockingvicar.com

GREAT ALBUM, TERRIBLE TITLE

Parishioner Andrew King

"OK Computer" is a terrible title and most of the track titles are awful in a trying-much-too-hard-to-be-of-the-moment kind of way - "Airbag", "Karma Police", "Subterranean Homesick Alien", "Paranoid Android". Having resisted the charms of the band up to then, I put off hearing the album for at least a year after its release, mostly because of those titles. Even after I'd heard it a few times it continued to elude me until it was the only tape left to play on my walkman during an over-long wait for a flight home from Frankfurt Airport one darkening October evening when, fitting in perfectly with the ambience, surroundings and my tiredness, it suddenly all started to make some kind of sense.

Parishioner Pete:

Parishioner James Hill asks for more Great Records, Crap Titles (or vice versa). His example of the Shins' latest should lead him, not very far, to their first two albums: the equally excellent, and equally badly-monickered, "Oh Inverted World" and "Chutes Too Narrow". And how about "Come on feel the Illinoise"? What will Sufjan do next: "Alaska Myself"? Other records with appalling titles from the last few years (quality of actual record open to debate): "Dear Catastrophe Waitress", "Alright, Still", "Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like a Peasant" (for fuck's sake), "Those the Brokes" (as Dixon might have said: What the Brokes? Those What Brokes? Those the What?), "Favourite Worst Nightmare" (cool!), "Endtroducing...", "Road to Rouen"... please, make it stop!

THE VICAR'S MEDIA HIGHLIGHT

Parishioner Bette Paul:

Saturday June 16th 6.15 pm. Radio Four. Loose Ends.

John Shuttleworth guesting and singing one of his mundane but delightfully apposite songs 'You can't go back to the savoury' a ballad about the problem of discovering a portion of left-over shepherd's pie after embarking on one's treacle sponge pudding - superb and available on-line, his first, I believe. Lovely, lively interview with John's usual painfully logical, local responses and a load of laughs from the other guests.

Same day 7.15. BBC 2 The Culture Show.

Lauren Laverne interviews Lou Reed with visible awe and clips of various gigs, which , thank goodness, interrupt their intense eye-balling, simpering and smirking. And then it's 'Caroline Says'. Now, I'm (almost) new to Reed and my idea of a good gig tends towards the baroque but I was struck by the banality of both words (you can't call them lyrics, can you?) and music as well as the timbre of the voice. It all reminded me of - yes - it was utterly Shuttleworthian! Now, my question is: was it all in the cause of irony or has Reed decided to cut in on the Shuttleworth cult? Oh, and at the end she simpered her thanks and he said - yes he did 'Are you the London journalist I'm going to fall in love with?' and she replied. 'It's mutual'. Cut to mid eye-locked gaze. Now what was all that about?

AND SO TO BED

We are grateful to Parishioner Richard Lowe for drawing our attention to these interesting examples of the Dressing Gown In Rock.

Mike Love appearing on British television with the Beach Boys http://tinyurl.com/23r8es The Style Council's call to appear on The Roxy obviously came so late that Dee C. Lee had only just emerged from the shower.

http://tinyurl.com/ysfe7h

Buddy Rich is called back for an encore in his jammies http://tinyurl.com/2cryog John Belushi and Dan Akroyd force Brian Wilson to go surfing in his dressing gown http://tinyurl.com/2yzyxs

We need more of this kind of thing. Keep your contributions coming on any subject which takes your fancy to mail@rockingvicar.com

Pip pip!!

Your Rocking Vicar

please scroll using buttons above

From time to time The Vicar's likes to communicate with the parish via email. If you'd like to be added to his address book, just click below.

:: click here to join the parish >