:: archive

May 07 - issue 4

Dearly Bewildered

Our appeal for examples of the parental habit of deliberately mispronouncing the names of their children's pop favourites attracted interesting responses from all corners of the parish. It also stimulated this reminiscence from an older member of the flock which causes us to ask the bigger question 'just how strange are parents?'

POST OF THE WEEK

Parishioner Spencer Leigh:

We didn't have a record player until 1955 and I well remember buying Eddie Calvert's "The Holy City" as my first record as I didn't want my dad to think that my lobbying for the player might be for more turbulent and troublesome music. One of my first pop records was Alma Cogan's "The Birds And The Bees" and when my Uncle Leslie came round, he said to my dad, "Tom, do you know that Spencer is listening to a record about the facts of life?" Horrified by such depraved behaviour, my father confiscated the record and said I could have it back in 1961 when I was 16. He referred to the Everly Brothers as the Barmy Bats, while my mother would classify everything I bought as either "a waste of money" or "a complete waste of money". When I wanted "Elvis's Christmas Album" for Christmas in 1957 (no £500 iboxes or whatever for me!), my mother said okay but my dad said that I must also have

something more enduring and bought me a world atlas. With all the changes in names and territories, the atlas was soon out of date but as for Elvis, I play him every Christmas and think of my dad. When I got my O levels, he bought me a Billy Fury LP as a present: I know he took part in the war but I think it took him greater courage to go into a record shop and ask for a record by Billy Fury. Similarly, when I got my A-levels, my mother bought me "The Eddie Cochran Memorial Album". These may seem minuscule presents, but I can remember clearly: if someone asked me what my wife got me for Christmas five years ago, I wouldn't have a clue.

VEXATIOUS MISPRONUNCIATION

Parishioner Alan Robinson:

I dunno about mistaken band names, but I came to Tim Buckley too late for my purchasing of his catalogue to help him whilst he was alive - autumn 1979. I purchased a copy of his 'Happy Sad' long player, and my dad, suitably 'refreshed' after a lunch time sesh at the Terminus Social Club, North Shields, came home, and saw the sleeve, and said 'Happy Sod? Is he Punk?' My dad would also, apropos of nothing, come out with strange, gnomic utterances like "What about the Blue Oyster Cult, then?', or 'You don't hear much from that Alvin Lee these days - is he still married to that Lisa Goddard?' Or, things like "I saw your mate on telly the other neet - Elvin Costello. Has he still got that aaaaful beard?" "Flamin' Groovies - flamin' shite". He used to call the MC5 the Macfive, like they were Scottish or something. Truly, parents are far weirder than their

offspring.

Parishioner Randall of the Wells:

Further to your 'Dad mispronunciations', I have a similar thing, which owes more to the Rev. Spooner rather than my Dad. Since Hear'Say have split and a female chanteuse of aforementioned band appears to be ubiquitous on Classic FM, reality shows and M & S ad campaigns. I have great pleasure in introducing Miss MyClean Arse.

Parishioner Alex Baxter:

I find myself in the uncomfortable position of having become my Dad, when talking about certain dubious quality rock bands. On hearing that a work colleague had secured, at considerable time, trouble and expense to herself, a ticket to see Coldplay in some muddy field, I instantly piped up: 'If they were playing at the end of my garden, I'd shut the curtains and go to bed' My Dad said those same words to me when I was hankering after Bowie tickets sometime in the 70's.

Parishioner Andrew Harrison:

My granddad began referring to the band which sang 'Ferry Cross The Mersey' as Gerry And The Po-Makers in 1962, and still does to this day. Pax vobiscum.

Parishioner Steve:

I have no idea why, but it still amuses me to refer to the shaggy-haired 80s Rock God as Bon Jon Bovi

Anon:

Around 1980, at the height of the NWOBHM ( new wave of british heavy metal to the uninitiated), my old work buddy Peter Smith came out with a couple of belters. He would refer to Def Leppard as 'Wet Lettuce' and Iron Maiden as 'Iron Mistress'. God bless you Pete, wherever you are !

Parishioner David Hepworth: Growing up in Yorkshire I was used to grown-ups' disparaging remarks about pop stars being furthered coloured by arcane references. My mother could never look at Mick Jagger on the TV without muttering "he's got a mouth like a set pot."

BANDS I WOULDN'T CROSS THE STREET TO SEE

Parishioner Andrew King:

The Clash. Now, I just never got them at all. Every time I hear someone going on about how they were the greatest rock and roll band of all time or the last gang in town or something, be it some bloke in the pub, one of my mates or Stuart Maconie, Andy Kershaw or, just last Saturday on The Culture Show, Mark Kermode I wonder if I'm ever going to have my eureka moment with them and catch on to whatever it is that's ensnared everyone else. It certainly hasn't happened yet.

UNLIKELY NAMESAKES

Parishioner Amy:

A cursory Google this morning led me to this:

http://www.myspace.com/albinimusic

"Jazz / Italian Pop / Lounge"? - roll on the new Shellac LP!

GIG GOING ATTIRE

Parishioner Janice:

Oh dear. I am regularly found attending gigs with not only my handbag slung casually across my person but with my jacket folded over said bag. I can't be bothered with cloakrooms (half the venues don't even have them) and its too cold coming and going from the gig to go without (and I'm a hardy northerner !) Incidentally, at my local top notch venue Selby Town Hall (there's rock 'n' roll for you) you need to bring a jacket as the form is that you enter, bag a seat with your jacket, then go off to the bar and return safe in the knowledge that noone will nick your seat !

PARISH APPEAL

Parishioner Hannah:

We all know about Rock Dads, but what about Rock Toddlers? My little girl is 18 months and frequently critiques my driving soundtrack choice from her car seat. I put on the Beatles' "Hey Bulldog"; she shakes her head resignedly while firmly repeating "no no no no". I've tried everything from XTC to Rilo Kiley, but most things meet with no no no (although she quite likes the Feeling and Carla Bruni). She loves Raffi (think of Bob Dylan for babies) but I can't drive by Raffi alone. I can't be the only parishioner with a Rock Toddler. What music does the parish's other Rock Parents enjoy with their little ones?

The Rocking Vicar adds: You must see "Jade chante Magma" at: www.youtube.com/v/52vhtwuGjOA

NEWS FROM THE SITE

THE ANSWERS TO THE "MENTIONED IN SONG" PICTURE QUIZ

Mentioned In Song (1)

1. Huey Long - "Kingfish" by Randy Newman

2. Charlie Starkweather - "Nebraska" by Bruce Springsteen

3. Grace Kelly - "Grace Kelly" by Mika

4. Amelia Erhardt - "Amelia" by Joni Mitchell

5. Zizi Jeanmaire - "Where Do You Go To My Lovely" by Peter Sarstedt

6. Byron de La Beckwith, the murderer of Medgar Evers - "Only A Pawn In The Game" by Bob Dylan

7. Vladimir Nabokov - "Don't Stand So Close To Me" by The Police

8. Oliver Cromwell - "Oliver's Army" by Elvis Costello

9. Rasputin - "Rasputin" by Boney M

10. Roy Harper - "Hats off To Harper" by Led Zeppelin

11. Reuben 'Hurricane' Carter - "Hurricane" by Bob Dylan

12. Ralph Vaughan Williams - "Roll Over Vaughan Williams" by Richard Thompson

13. Tuesday Weld - "New frontier" by Donald Fagen

14. Sandra Dee - "Look At me, I'm Sandra Dee" from "Grease".

15. Trotsky - "No More Heroes" by The Stranglers

16. Martin Luther King - "Abraham Martin and John"

17. Nostradamus by Al Stewart

18. Kaiser Wilhelm - "I Was Kaiser Bill's Batman" by Whistling Jack Smith

19. Andy Kaufman - "Man In The Moon" by REM

20. Montgomery Clift - "Monty Got A Raw Deal" by REM

Mentioned in song (2)

1. Bette Davis - "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes

2. Nijinsky - "Do The Strand" by Roxy Music

3. Joe di Maggio - "Mrs Robinson" by Paul Simon

4. Blind Willie McTell - "Blind Willie McTell" by Bob Dylan

5. Joe Hill - "I dreamed I Saw Joe Hill" by Joan Baez

6. Isaac Newton - "Man On The Moon" by REM

7. John Snow - "When An Old Cricketer Leaves The Crease" by Roy Harper

8. Nelson Mandela - "Free Nelson Mandela" by The Specials

9. Wee Willie Harris - "Reasons To be Cheerful" by Ian Dury

10. Kevin Carter - "Kevin Carter" by The Manic Street Preachers

11. Benjamin Disraeli - "Disraeli Gears" by Cream

12. Sean Flynn - "Sean Flynn" by The Clash

The Rocking Vicar

please scroll using buttons above

From time to time The Vicar's likes to communicate with the parish via email. If you'd like to be added to his address book, just click below.

:: click here to join the parish >